When examined, or just because it’s weird on its own.
Example: Beat a dead horse
- You whip a horse to go faster
- It dies from being whipped too much
- You still want the horse to go faster
- You continue to whip it
“it’ll be a bloodbath in there!” *used for anything political wise.
Whenever my dad is being lazy or doing something too slowly, my mom says he’s “dicking the dog”. Whatever that means.
🤨
“You get what you pay for” - the words of a simpleton (or lying salesperson).
I had to explain that “you get what you pay for” to a disgruntled (and later banned from my store) customer years ago.
At the time I was selling eyewear for Red Eyewear Giant (now owned by Blue Eye-care Giant™) and a guy orders the absolute cheapest product for his quite strong prescription. The RX was roughly a -7 on each eye, not huge but definitely significantly thicker than average. The gentleman wanted LARGE eyewear. The man did not want to spend much.
I offered a quote for the ideal product for his vision, which is a 1.7 index lens with scratch resistant non-glare and a hydrophobic coating (well get to why thats important). The man declines and decides he wants the absolute bare minimum, cool, cr-39 plastic lenses, uncoated. No amount of education on the products would change his mind, I chalked it up to a budget thing, explained the downsides of his choice (to absolve myself of liability for the issues I knew he’d have) and allowed the oirchase to go through with confirmation he understood the issues.
Now, what we’ve just done here is gone from a very lightweight, low thermal mass product that repels water, to a HEAVY, High mass product with absolutely no water repellant properties. This is in Houston, TX - a literal swamp, and the Air conditioning capital of the US.
Man enters grocery store, man buys groceries, man leaves grocery store, man’s glasses immediately are coated in a thick fog which is dense enough that evaporation does not occur quickly (or at all honestly with that humidity) and they need to be wiped up.
That man screamed at me about how I ripped him off for over an hour.
Now, I’m not telling this story to say you’re wrong, I think this might be an “exception that proves the rule” situation. But yes, you get what you pay for, and no, it’s not always said by scummy salespeople, sometimes we just want you to have the right product the first time.
We all have experience with buying a premium product and thinking “wow, that’s nice” just like we’ve all had the experience where we bought the cheapest option and though “this is pretty good”.
The rule is as follows: “it depends”.
It’s just that our monkey brains don’t like those kinds of generalization.
Yeah definitely useful when managing expectations around buying cheap shit but quality generally peaks or plateaus in the middle of the cost range.
“scientists say…”
They aren’t some unified entity. They don’t even agree amongst themselves on most things if one digs deep enough. While there is some interpretation of the data involved, most people that use the phrase “Scientists say…” are essentially saying “Objective observations done by several of the smartest humans have been argued over by several of their rivals resulting in…”
Like, we should start calling them something like Observational Data Warriors ™ /s to put perspective on the magnitude of information and depth involved. You can have an opinion but you are a coward of no relevant value if you are not trained for battle and fighting on the front lines. So whatever nonsense you have to say results in you looking like a clown of no note.
Scientists say "im off to work dear, see you this afternoon”.
but seriously, we have to trust experts in STEM just to get through our day. Every time someone give the "scientists can be wrong too” line i look up at the ceiling as if its about to collapse. Sure science is about continuous improvement and falsifiability but that guys PHD is not equivalent to your youtube recomendations pipeline.
Whats up
How’s it hangin’?
Catch you on the flip side.
Stay fresh cheese bags
“I’m not here to fuck spiders” - said by Australians who want to drop the preamble and get down to business.
And here I was, just assuming that to be true about most people…
How inconsiderate of me.Well, it’s Australia. Spiders have the vote.
That’s hilarious, I should try that out
Nah, surprise everyone.
Leap into the room, exclaim “I’m here to fuck spiders”, then drop trou and hump a cobweb.
Keep the bastards guessing
Taking God’s name in vain
- You invoke God on some topic you’re wrong about.
- God appears and sees your worthless comment.
- ???
- God punishes you, or he backs away, or he learns to not listen to you anymore in boy cries wolf type situation? Its really not clear what the repercussions are.
No, no, it was originally “Taking God’s name in vein,” as saying the name of God out loud would allow Him into your blood. If you say the name of God, you allow him to inhabit your blood, gain your power, and become even more mighty. The ancient Hebrews feared God gaining too much power, as He would be able to destroy the world. Then Christians figured out that if they took Communion and instead drank the blood of Christ, they could reverse the Hebrew God’s power and slowly increase their own until they could ascend to the heavens and do battle with the Almighty, empowered by His blood in their veins, rather than weakened by taking His name in vein. In this seventeen-part essay, I will describe how we can defeat God by
This is mind blowing if true. Is this real? What’s going on here? Are you serious?
yes everything you read on the Internet is true.
Not real, but certainly creative.
This lore makes more sense than the bible.
The bible is a collection of thousands of years of oral history and societal laws put to paper generations after the fact, allegory and letters to random fuckers and varying accounts of a Jewish cult leader who was executed for crimes against the state. It’s gonna have a potted narrative.
That’s one that always bothered me too. When I say “Jesus fucking Christ” I mean it. Which is it’s own weird ism when you think about it…
I thought it was stating that something is God’s will for your own purposes. AFAIK it’s not just using terms for God as a curse.
I think the idea was that he could be invoked by his name, but they couldn’t have people going around saying “Jehova” (or whatever) randomly without any cool powers happening, so they made up the rule to discourage people poking holes in their flimsy story.
Head over heels.
So… Standing?
No I think it refers to the motion of the head going over the heels. Not being positioned in a static frame over the heels.
I’ve read that it used to be “heels over head” as in upside-down, but then somehow the words got switched around (I found this page that claims the same thing: https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/head-over-heels.html ).
As happy as Larry.
Now… who is Larry, why is he happy, how happy, like a little bit or ecstatic?
Be like Larry.
“Quitting cold turkey” - I never actually thought about this one, but apparently it’s directly related to addiction (which seems kind of obvious now that I do think about it). When you quit an addiction abruptly, you sometimes get that cold goosebump skin like a cold turkey.
Goosebumps like from a goose? Why isn’t it called ‘going cold goose’ then?
“Run like you’ve never ran before” suggests that you’d probably suck at running.
Does the pope shit in the woods?
A humerous combo of ‘Do bears shit in the woods?’ and ‘Is the Pope Catholic?’ Which are two jokey ways of saying ‘Yeah, obviously, duh’.
But does the pope shit in the woods?
No, but bears are catholic
No, he’s trapped in the pope mobile , that thing isn’t equipped for offroad travel
My wife used to work in the backcountry. Lots of unpaved remote roads. Bears apparently do not shit in the woods. They shit on the road.
Do they, or did someone put a road through a bear’s outhouse?
Hoisted by my own petard (to be foiled by your own plan), is a nice flowery one, although it actually makes sense. The bee’s knees (for something excellent) is a good one that makes no sense. Wet behind the ears (inexperienced) is another cool one.
“Hoisted by your own petard” is from Hamlet. Equivalent to “It blew up in your own face” but with more of a cause of hippocracy
“The dogs bollocks” is another, same as bees knees.
Is ‘Wet behind the ears’ a comparison to a newborn baby?
It is indeed
“Break a leg” (or “Hals und Beinbruch” in German, which is “Neck and leg fracture”).
I don’t even know what the logic could be. Is it supposed to be some sort of reverse psychology?
This is a theatre term as “Good luck” is supposed to bring bad luck. Therefore, you wish someone the worst luck possible in order to bring them good luck.
You can lead a whore to water, but you can’t make her douche.
Yap, still guessing
