5,6,9
2, 6, 9
I’d pick 9, 9, 9
5, 6 & 9
The only way
2, 6 and 9.
9 would go towards building affordable housing in my area, which would make 6 happen.
2 just 'cause.
#2 is straight up torture. No matter how much you eat, you cannot stop losing weight. Your body no longer retains nutrients as it passes right through you
Depends on if the descriptions are jackass genie rules or not. If it’s being genuine, it means you won’t gain any excess weight beyond what’s healthy. 1 and 3 seem like descriptions ripe for abuse as well.
1: Thinner!
3: You can no longer get things you need because you are unable to shop.
Excess weight is literally fat. That is how the body stores excess energy.
Not sure if you can live without any fat or not. Would have to look into it.
excess weight beyond what’s healthy
Yes I read it the first time. It’s such a wild undefineable description that differs from person to person, even from environment to environment.
But you interpret the magical pill how you want. And I’ll interpret it how I see fit. Deal?
It’s such a wild undefinable description that differs from person to person, even from environment to environment.
Yes, that’s why it’s a magic pill. I already interpreted it two different ways - if it’s granting the “wish” in the spirit of the clear intent from the phrasing, it won’t be harmful, but if it’s being literal, you’re gonna die.
“Clear intent from the phrasing”
How is “no more gain weight” clear with intent
It says you can’t gain weight. I’m already overweight, and about max for what I can be to keep my job (military) and not totally break down. So if “can’t gain weight” means this is my max weight and no matter what I do I can’t go past it, that makes a comfortable hard stop for future efforts toward dieting.
I see it from a biological perspective. Weight gain is derived from absorption of nutrients. You gain and lose weight all the time. As soon as your intestines no longer hold food you are no longer absorbing nutrients and therefore are losing weight from just existing.
I cannot argue with your interpretation of a made up magical pill. I just see it from another perspective.
Perhaps you would enjoy the no fat pill more since that’s how the body store excess energy.
2 is slow death. Body always losing weight and you will no longer get it
You loved one dies, you feel happy. You are in logical despair but can’t feel it.
I’ll pass
You can be happy and sad at the same time. It doesn’t say you can’t be sad.
What number is that?
6
2 (as long as that means I can’t go past my current weight, not that every time I poop, sweat, or pee I lose weight I can never regain) 5… and I guess 9. I’m doing okay, and I’ve never had a strong need for “a lot of money.”
5 isn’t even because I want to have super strength, it’s more to be able to compensate for my jacked up joints and being overweight.
I would trade any of the three of these for “cure my sleep apnea” though.
1 sounds tempting, as long as it’s just the insulation, you know? I don’t know a whole lot about biology, but I feel like if you immediately removed all fats from your body, your cells would just die (all the lipids disappearing). But if you could remove all the fat listed in the “body fat percentage” and made it so I could still get some fats quickly (for a healthy amount), I’d take that over 2. Once it’s there, it makes it so hard to get rid of, but I feel like if it was gone in one go, I could keep it off.
Wow, my decisions for “magic pills” would be kind of depressing to 20-year-old me. At least with the exception of my health I’m reasonably content.
- Just 9.
I only want 5 and 9.
Easy: 3x Pill No. 9 please.
One for me (depends on what “a Lot of Money” means), and the other two i will use to either: a) give to Close Friends and/or Family B) a complete Stranger from the streets C) keep in storage for my Offspring when they are in a Pinch of losing the family wealth that i built
No one says you gonna take the pills you Pick. Certainly that way you could also Take 2x No. 1 for your worst enemies (or CEOs)
That is by far the shittiest version of the “which pill/superpower/xyz ?” that I’ve seen.
“No more fat”, “Have many followers” and fucking “Increase 5cm height” nearly gave me an aneurysm. This meme is a good pick for the community.
Yeah what does even “no more fat” means? You can’t eat fat any more? Or all the fat is removed from you (which would kill you)?
Also, get me a -5cm height for my 198cm, that would be perfect.
It means that all your hard drives would be converted to NTFS from FAT32
I thought this was Linux land, surely it’d be ZFS no?
203cm clocking in, and I completely agree with you
I think “many followers” means being famous?
And the “increase 5cm” has a strategic new line. I thought for about 0.3 seconds that a rude had snuck in.
No, many followers really means that. It also implies that you’ll need a much larger bathroom.
Hey now… I’d totally take the extra 5cm. Maybe 15cm.
I would, too. It’s just… At least write something like “increase own height by 5cm”.
If you choose 6, your life will be like that of Sam the Slug.
I thought it’d be more like in general. Like you’re happy with your overall life situation, even if you still get sad occasionally.
monkey’s paw curls
😟
1 & 2 are the same pill, unless 2 also stops you from putting on muscle mass which would be a real negative. In the same vein, “no more fat” taken too literally will just kill you, as humans need at least 4-5% body fat to live.
If you read them kindly “dont gain weight from eating” means you will burn fat just day to day, eventually hitting equilibrium. “No more fat” means you won’t gain fat, so you can just eat excessively and youre at equilibrium. Neither affects you at a calorie deficit, and both do the same thing at a calorie surplus.
Super strong likely means mass and/or density, which means more calories needed to maintain. Unless it’s some magic. Either way, that and money means you can eat until you’re happy. The only two pills I’d want out of those given.
I prefer being the monkey paw in these scenarios. Way more fun and you can be creative.
1 and 2 are definitely not the same
1 is much better all around, assuming that they mean you “instantly drop to an ideal body fat percentage” and not “all of the fat on your body disappears forever”
Yeah, “Don’t gain weight from eating” would mean that any dieting you do would be permanent. You lose 1 oz, that 1 oz is gone forever.
Super easy to lose weight that way, but also, potentially risky in that you could unintentionally diet away all of your body fat and not be able to replace it.
Even if you’re a consistent overeater, you’re going to have days where you can’t hit your target and lose more weight.
Sounds more like a curse than a blessing.
You’d be lucky to make it to your mid 60s unless you started out very overweight and didn’t try to crash diet your way to “normalcy”.
The way 2. is written is basically a death sentence.
What they presumably meant is “never exceed your ideal weight no matter how much you eat”
I think 5 and 9.
i don’t really want the rest.
Agreed, those are my only two choices as well.
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I feel like the first two are basically the same thing and are also asking for a monkey’s paw sort of scenario to happen.
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I don’t want to stop shopping because there are things I want that can’t be obtained for free.
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I’m not the tallest, but I don’t feel any particular need to be any taller.
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I don’t want my emotions regulated to always be happy, because then you basically never truly are.
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Followers are overrated and creepy.
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And I’d never want to forget an ex because I’d end up losing a lot of good memories in the process.
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5 only says you gain strength, controlling it may be a difficult task
5 could monkey’s paw kill you like most of the rest of these. I think 4, 8, and 9 are your best bet if you have to pick 3 and you want to survive in a non-terrifying way.
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feels like a trap, once you burn through all your fat you’ll be impossibly unhealthy
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is a trap too, if you stop gaining weight from eating then you might trap yourself in the same situation as above
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unless you hunt for food, bad idea
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decent option, but it doesn’t mention if there’s any pain during the growth period
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good option, as long as you have control over your strength
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very bad option, sounds nice but you will go insane
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doesn’t say if online or IRL, having many followers IRL is not desirable
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dangerous, erasing any meaningful memories is dangerous
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the only good option with no consequences i can think of. i’ll take 3 of those
Bro sat here and broke down each option 😭 love it
Mostly agree, easily can reduce it down to 4,5 modulo fine print. I don’t agree with the last if a lot of money means billions and if you want to keep it all for yourself. Wanting to own billions is a mental disease imo.
In somewhat of the spirit of the IRL followers. Getting millions of coins dumped on your head is also not preferable.
oh nah lol, i’d just keep a decent amount of money to live comfortably + bit extra for the occasional adhd “new hobby” shopping spree. if “a lot” means billions, the majority of it i’d most likely donate to charities or give away to friends and random people, i have no desire to hoard wealth
Except how do people generally get money from taking pills? Hint: it’s not often because they are happy with the results.
i don’t think a pill can give you more followers either (not without first setting up a cult and/or a drug enterprise)
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That calls for a monkey’s paw
- There’s literally no more fat in your body. Your cells burst, you die immediately.
- You’re not able to gain weight, but you still lose it. Every time you sweat, breathe out, go to the restroom - you lose weight. In a matter of month or two, you die from exhaustion.
- Now you can’t buy groceries and really anything you want or need and are forever reliant on others to provide you with anything you didn’t yourself produce.
- The height increase is achieved by all your organs instantly extending, causing internal injuries and disabilities and now many physical stresses can kill you.
- You’re so strong you cannot adequately measure it, and have to be very careful not to break everything around you.
- You’re always happy. You’re never able to grieve, or reflect, or do anything. You’ve lost any reason to progress, or even really sustain yourself. You die in bliss on the streets.
- Followers are invading all of your personal life. They doxx you, follow you everywhere, try to document every moment of your existence. You cannot have peace and solitude ever again.
- You forgot your ex. You also forgot every good moment in your life you ever had together, and are left wondering what is that void in your brain. You will never know what happened. But someone, somewhere out there who is your ex will.
- Inflation came strong, and now everyone has millions upon millions of dollars. Too bad they’re only worth a few rolls of toilet paper.
There are people who cannot grow or simply don’t have any fat cells. It’s a surprisingly debilitating condition, but you don’t immediately die from it.
Fats are a normal component of any cell membrane, and if we’re talking no fats whatsoever, there would be no membrane to speak of.
It’s not just about the storage cells.
This is what I thought too when I read them, the last one (money) was the only one I didn’t see any problems with. It made me think about the post about picking a superpower and the first comment was your side effect for using it but this was the other way around, pick your side effect haha
Oh definitely 1 then
