How can we secure a solar eclipse induced apocalypse next time? More virgin sacrifices? Less? Virgins are quite abundant these days. We could go either way…
What did we do wrong?
We had the world running on Linux and somehow chose an Nvidia driver with ZERO problems.
The eclipse was supposed to be apocalyptic? I missed the memo this time. We seem to collect those things like there’s Pokemon.
Haven’t you seen Apocalypto, you use the eclipse to control the masses by saying they have to listen to you because you know what the gods want
Knowledge is power
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I love running into a fellow Sea Labian.
Sea labian?!
I’m from Heshtopia…
Hold on, I got some tasty corn I need to trade to these guys real quick.
Man, screw you guys.
I’ll be in… Quinnland.
Marduk desires not the barren wasteland of your desiccated viscera.
Not enough cow bell
I’ve got a fever…
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[nsfw] There’s an old joke that’s surprisingly appropriate.
Lucky Pierre has to get out of Paris, so he signs on a tramp steamer. In order to make the most money, the captain refuses to spend the night in any port. The ship unloads and sails out without anyone getting a chance to enjoy themselves. After a month, Pierre is going nuts. He talks to the bos’n. He leads Pierre down to the filthiest part of the hold and points him at a steel drum welded to the deck. “Just stick it in there.”
Pierre is skeptical, but also desperate. He places his organ in the hole in the barrel and feels a hot mouth on his member.
Well, Pierre makes up for lost time. He’s in the hold five or six times a day for the next week. Then one day he sticks it in but nothing happens. He goes to the bos’n to see what’s going on.
“Guess that means it’s your turn in the barrel.”
So, if you want a virgin sacrifice, just climb in the barrel.
I kid.
…Is it possible that when the ancient tome calls for virgin sacrifices it’s talking about sacrifices by and not of?
Either way it’s a win-win for the virgins.
Sigh
I’ll go get more virgins…
Keep them separated this time. You know what happens.
Check it out - we drill a huge hole through the moon, and put a giant magnifying glass in it. Then, next time there’s an eclipse…
Makes me think, do we have eyes on the dark side of the moon right now? What’s stopping aliens from just squatting there without us knowing?
Land lords hate this one simple trick
It’s not dark, we just can’t see it from Earth. And yes, its fully mapped out.
There is a decade old documentary about this exact thing happening.
I don’t remember all the signs from Revelations, but I’m pretty sure one of them is seven trumpets playing as the sky gets their fuckery on. We obviously needed more brass bands playing. I think these guys could bring on the end times next eclipse.
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No one that’s real desperate have the crimson behelit
If my sources are correct, we didn’t use enough aether crystals to summon Ifrit, Lord of the Inferno. My source is Final Fantasy btw.
You have to completely unplug the sun. You can’t just walk in front of it Richard.
FFSThere was an eclipse? Didn’t even know since there weren’t any news of it being on my part of the world.
Guess it frist need to be worlwide to create an apocalypse,
It was visible in large parts of North America.
I’m not even on that side of the earth.
Earth doesn’t have sides, it’s spherical.
Earth is spherical yes, but we as humans divided it into side to be able to differentiate it easilly where we are relatively to one another.
So relatively, america is on the another side of earth compared to me, or 180 degrees far on the sphere
The antipode of America is the Indian ocean. Do you live in the Kergulean Islands? That’s the only land that is 180 degrees from somewhere in America.
If you want to tell me where you are specifically, I can tell you the exact antipode… but it’s often just somewhere in the ocean… lots of water here.
Croatia
It says your antipodal point is in the ocean, sort of between the south and south pacific ocean. Nearest landmass is Chatham Islands, New Zealand… although it seems like quite the swim.
Antipode coordinates: -45.814, -164.022
Antipode finder. It’s actually kind of fun to play around with, you realize how much darn ocean there is haha.
I saw a bunch of memes about eclipses and concluded there was probably one happening somewhere
No this was an eclipse, common mistake. An apocalypse is an archaic term for a chemist or pharmacist.
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Sorry, but um, actually, that’s a hyphen. An apocalypse is the goddess from Pirates of the Carribean who is in love with Davy Jones.
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Apostrophes create contractions, hyphens create compounds.
Genocide on the promise land might have something to do with it.
They’re so ignorant that they thought that the eclipse was global and believed that it was the beginning of the biblical 3 days of total darkness that signaled the end of the world. They are so fucking horny for the end of the world and their presumed admission to heaven that they see the end everywhere and are actively trying to bring it about. That’s why they want to start a race war, and a war with Russia, and… they’re trying to CAUSE the end of the world so that they can go to heaven.
I like to think of Jesus chasing them around and around the pearly gates with a whip. Biblically speaking, it’s not out of the question.
That any of those people believe that they are Christians when they don’t follow the letter and spirit of the teachings of Jesus Christ is utterly baffling.
