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The time for debating conservatives was over a decade ago. Now is not the time for debate. Now is the time to dethrone them. Marginalize hate by marginalizing the haters.

The argument made by the person asking that question is not based on any realistic fear they have actually thought through. On the big list of gendered violence, a cis dude saying they are trans to accomplish… being present in a bathroom without themselves getting harrassed… doesn’t even register.

Instead, this is just a typical attempt to punch down based on an imagined danger, usually on someone else’s behalf. There’s nothing an oppressor likes more than a piece of illogic that frames their target of oppression as, sneakily, the real oppressor. In this case, it is trans people wanting bathroom access without having to out themselves or to otherwise just not contradict their gender. Gender neutral bathrooms would also be acceptable, or even better, but cis people have insisted on gendered bathrooms. Rather than say, “yeah trans people shouldn’t have to put up with that cis bathroom bullshit”, reactionaries try to come up with ways to reframe the ask as its own form of oppression. This is also the mainstay of TERFs, basically just cis women that pretend trans women are oppressing them by wanting basic equal consideration.

Depending on who this person is, you may want to try various tactics. If you think you can be flippant and dismissive of them, definitely do that preferentiallu. Make them feel like they are being ridiculous and that if they really care about violence against women they should work on guaranteeing housing for all and hate cops. If you can’t be flippant, I recommend still not taking it seriously but just changing the subject to the actual act of oppression and telling them more or less what I said in previous paragraphs. All of this assumes this us a person whose mind you want to change, like that of a friend or family member. If it is a colleague, start documenting their transphobuc comments and see if anyone else has your concerns, get their documentation as well. If it is just some rando, just tell them to shut the fuck up with bad faith transphobia and move on.

“Counter question: What stops a creep from doing that even if there was an anti trans law?”

Whatever you answer to a question like that is going to be attacked. The best way is not to answer, but reply with a different question, for instance “what are you afraid of?”

Not saying I have the answers, but I typically attack the person’s desire for oversimplification and binary stupidity. Like, “Do you feel like this question encompasses all bathroom related issues?” It gives me the time to think, while also assessing their vulnerabilities from an unexpected redirection. I ultimately attack their confidence in forming questions by adding edge case exceptions to their simplified outlook.

When someone poses a question like this, the are telling you that they lack depth. They do not have a good grasp of scales or complexity. They also lack the self awareness required to effectively empathize with others. This is a vulnerability that they have exposed. By exploiting this vulnerability, you invalidate their argument, take control of the rhetoric, and you increase the chance that their insecurity motivates growth of their self awareness at some later point.

Uhhhhh there are no urinals in the ladies so everyone is in a stall? So???

Does this fella want the ladies to shoot him?

(Using the ladylike Darringer from her pocket book, saying “ah do declare” of course)

Its an ancient argument and your answer is correct.

There is no cock check at restroom doors anyone can enter.

Probably should have changed the subject or said goodbye. Arguing with conservatives is exhausting and usually in bad faith. It’s about winning, not exploring a topic together.

I don’t get why we have different bathrooms at this point. Its more efficient to just have them all be family bathrooms with floor to ceiling stalls.

These idiots don’t understand that is assault is assault. It’s not a defense that would work in court. They’re being obtuse to be bigots.

I’d say the best answer to this conservative is that it’s like open carrying a handgun. Just because someone is carrying a handgun doesn’t make them the bad guy, so you leave them alone.

But if they draw that weapon and threaten someone, you call the cops.

…or another good guy with a gun?

Is there no one in the replies here who thinks women have a legitimate discomfort, or unsafe feeling, having men around in a toilet space, even if the men aren’t actively being harmful?

No women here who had difficult upbringings with men? No men whose daughter or sister or female friend feels uncomfortable letting certain barriers down around strange men?

Of course there is an important discussion about how bathroom culture changes as society’s acceptance of trans people changes.

But, OP, I think what you would do best beyond what you said, is to acknowledge that some women have a legitimate concern, even if there’s not an easy answer. Once you have that point of agreement - once the other person can see you care about the concern they’re coming from - you have a foundation for discussing a real problem and/or solution.

Otherwise you’re just buttimg heads to win, and asking an internet echo chamber to adjudicate.

What public bathroom has dedicated security gaurds? Theres nothing stopping a man from just walking in without having to make stuff up. If someone is acting inappropriate in a public restroom then why does it matter whats in their pants? Gay/lesbian perverts exist too!

What should I have said?

“You think about strange men’s genitals a lot, don’t you?”