My thoughts is that it’s a simple situation really. If they’re harassing or assaulting people, the women will call the cops or something, simple situation and get the guy arrested. If he’s not doing anything, it’s nothing harmful. Apparently that’s not a solid enough answer. What should I have said?
The argument made by the person asking that question is not based on any realistic fear they have actually thought through. On the big list of gendered violence, a cis dude saying they are trans to accomplish… being present in a bathroom without themselves getting harrassed… doesn’t even register.
Instead, this is just a typical attempt to punch down based on an imagined danger, usually on someone else’s behalf. There’s nothing an oppressor likes more than a piece of illogic that frames their target of oppression as, sneakily, the real oppressor. In this case, it is trans people wanting bathroom access without having to out themselves or to otherwise just not contradict their gender. Gender neutral bathrooms would also be acceptable, or even better, but cis people have insisted on gendered bathrooms. Rather than say, “yeah trans people shouldn’t have to put up with that cis bathroom bullshit”, reactionaries try to come up with ways to reframe the ask as its own form of oppression. This is also the mainstay of TERFs, basically just cis women that pretend trans women are oppressing them by wanting basic equal consideration.
Depending on who this person is, you may want to try various tactics. If you think you can be flippant and dismissive of them, definitely do that preferentiallu. Make them feel like they are being ridiculous and that if they really care about violence against women they should work on guaranteeing housing for all and hate cops. If you can’t be flippant, I recommend still not taking it seriously but just changing the subject to the actual act of oppression and telling them more or less what I said in previous paragraphs. All of this assumes this us a person whose mind you want to change, like that of a friend or family member. If it is a colleague, start documenting their transphobuc comments and see if anyone else has your concerns, get their documentation as well. If it is just some rando, just tell them to shut the fuck up with bad faith transphobia and move on.
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You should have asked him if he’s planning to do that.
You know I still don’t understand the issue people have with this. Every bathroom I’ve been in either has stalls to use with urinals on the side and dividers between those for some privacy, or is only designed for one person at a time anyway. I can’t imagine having any issue with anyone of any gender in those types of bathroom, unless they where being clear creeps and trying to press an eye to a gap in a divide or something. Which isn’t solved by limiting the genders who can enter, it’s solved by building better dividers and not leaving gaps.
This isn’t Rome my dude, we’re not all sitting in one room and having a face to face while we clart.
In my opinion, what restroom to use depends on what you have between your legs. “Gentlemen” for penis. “Ladies” for vagina.
Great, how are you checking and enforcing this
Uhhhhh there are no urinals in the ladies so everyone is in a stall? So???
Does this fella want the ladies to shoot him?
(Using the ladylike Darringer from her pocket book, saying “ah do declare” of course)
The greatest thing in life is those 4 way street uninals.
Well you haven’t lived until you’ve had communal log over an open pit in the woods.
…so manly.
Lol remember the piss troughs from the 1980s? Gaze into another man’s eyes while you pee into a bathtub!
Doesn’t like every game do this now? When I buy a new PC game it’s always connected to their Dev’s own service
Its an ancient argument and your answer is correct.
There is no cock check at restroom doors anyone can enter.
Wish there was.
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve went through the embarassment of realizing I left mine at home halfway through a piss.
What should I have said?
"Wow, sadly I think it means that person has some serious mental issues, and we should get them some help.
Are you feeling okay? Do you want me to call someone for you?"
Probably should have changed the subject or said goodbye. Arguing with conservatives is exhausting and usually in bad faith. It’s about winning, not exploring a topic together.
Do you realize that this belief actually prevents you from discussing in good faith?
If you dehumanize the other, then you can’t be open to discussion with them.
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I don’t get why we have different bathrooms at this point. Its more efficient to just have them all be family bathrooms with floor to ceiling stalls.
Amen! I went to a restaurant that had this layout. Each stall was like it’s own little room with a full sized door and a shared sink area. It’s more efficient use of space and you get a better stall. The only thing that I think would make it better would be a small side area with a couple urinals.
Was at a brewery last night where the “bathroom” was a row of sinks, and then a row of doors labeled “sit” or “stand”. The commode cubicles were full length walls and doors, totally private, and this just makes so much more sense to me
Was at a church yard sale yesterday and they had the same setup. Pretty sure it was not a progressive church.
“Trans people aren’t super-sayajins so existing assault laws are probably fine”
These idiots don’t understand that is assault is assault. It’s not a defense that would work in court. They’re being obtuse to be bigots.
What public bathroom has dedicated security gaurds? Theres nothing stopping a man from just walking in without having to make stuff up. If someone is acting inappropriate in a public restroom then why does it matter whats in their pants? Gay/lesbian perverts exist too!
Seriously that’s always been my question for these people. “Oh no, only women are allowed to enter and I’m not a woman! Oh well, guess I’ll go rape someone somewhere else!” Dude was already planning on committing a crime, guys. Come on.
As my brother can attest to, there are women take anyone who passes as a man as a threat in the women’s restroom and will go get people to do something. Poor dude was just trying to get tampons.
“Counter question: What stops a creep from doing that even if there was an anti trans law?”
