And can I pay over 6 weeks?
“Fuck off, Brock Turner”
$100.
Prostitute: … here’s $5, now go away!
“Professional Cuddling” is unironically a thing.
Welcome to the neoliberal hellscape of commodified human contact.
Uh sure, the neoliberals are to blame
Neoliberals probably commidicized that person’s personality.
That’s kinda their thing.
Stupid neoliberal 4000 year old profession.
Turns out neo- means old.
Isn’t it mostly a front anyway?
As much as professional masseuse is. Which is to say often enough, but not so often that honest professionals don’t have to deal with creeps who can’t take a hint on the regular.
Don’t worry there’s plenty of cuddle sluts.
Their beards are so scratchy though!
Beggers can’t be choosers
For a minute I thought she had a five-o-clock shadow. Turns out my screen was dirty.
Both fully clothed? Double-safe hug! Smaller chance of actual skin-to-skin contact.
Free hugs!
What’s Hugs in for?
For freeing Hat!
Hugs shot JR
Years ago in Hyde Park there was a man with a Free Hugs sign. I walked up and asked, “Are you giving or receiving?” He shrugged and we hugged.
Best comment I’ve read in ages
Wow, high praise indeed! Thank you.
Of note that I failed to mention was that this man was on Speaker’s Corner and nestled amongst a dozen others shouting and ranting their particular rendition of Truth. I spotted him immediately and was drawn in. He being the obvious and most sensible option for engagement.
You slut.
Where tho?Free hugs… on your dick?
Premiums hugs that I rather not give away because people are monsters, $250 for 5 seconds.
“If you want me to stroke your hair and tell you everything’s gonna be okay, that’s extra.”
Worth every cent.
Do I get a discount for being bald?
Where
Arse
Keep going. Eventually the physical pain of having no human contact goes away entirely. The longing for touch becomes weird and foreign. Then nothing matters and you are free finally.
Ah, straight Lemmy here
“GFEs cost extra.”
The true attention whore
This is a real thing. Sex workers often report having clients who don’t want sex but just attention (physical or otherwise).
Butters’ bitches selling hugs and kisses on the playground.
Yes I know what you are saying