For example, Marmite Crumpets don’t exist. You cannot buy them at the supermarket. To be clear: you can buy crumpets, you can buy marmite, you can buy butter; but you have to assemble them at home.
If you walk into a breakfast cafe, they will happily serve you sausage / egg / bacon / french toast / bubble / squeak (whatever that is). But no marmite crumpets. If you ask them to make it, they will give you a very strange look. It’s not typically offered. It’s something you just have to make at home.
It is unbuyable. Any tourist who comes to the UK to try a Marmite crumpet would need to bring a toaster or an oven with them, or quickly befriend a brit and hope that they have all the ingredients at home.
It’s not a secret. You just can’t have it.
*munches into crumpet thoughtfully, and salivates at the juicy savory delight, whilst staring at you pityingly and condescendingly*
Anyway, what’s something that I could never experience unless I made it myself in your local?
Brother, we have all of those ingredients everywhere. We have a little British store run by expats who could get whatever packaged crumpet you use. Shit, I can make a batch of crumpets in about 15 minutes.
It’s not like a crazy recipe that needs balanced flavors to be done right. Like I’ve never had a good poutine outside of Quebec. It’s always sad beige gravy with the wrong seasonings or mozzarella or frozen fries or all of the above. It is never right.
What we can also talk about is local places making local dishes but they do it wrong and cheap or “good enough” and people come from abroad and try the dishes and think they’re mid because they went to the wrong place.
TL;DR: I love poutine.
/Rant
I had poutine at random place in Edinburgh which a Canadian friend said was the best poutine he’d had outside of Quebec. “Still shit though”, in comparison to in Quebec
It’s not like a crazy recipe that needs balanced flavors to be done right.
We’re talking British cuisine here
While you can go to a restaraunt/cafe and buy pancakes. I havent found a premade packet version that just needs warming up that isnt absolute shit.
Give me fresh or give me death!
Here’s something that you can’t buy outside of Italy: mozzarella. I tasted proper mozzarella in Tuscany and it’s nothing like the shit labeled mozzarella sold in supermarkets around the world, and for a good reason: real mozzarella has a shelf life shorter than Trump’s attention span.
We have a deli here that makes fresh moz daily, you can find places that do it all over. Shelf-life really only keeps it out of supermarkets. The problem for many forms of cheese in many countries, and especially the US, is the requirements around pasturization. Completely changes the texture and taste. And for moz specifically, the lack of Buffalo.
Buffalo…sauce? Buffalo, New York? Buffalo the ungulate? I am confused
Buffalo the animal (I think it’s water buffalo for mozzarella)
As the other commenter stated, Italian moz is made from water buffalo milk, which the US doesn’t have. And unfortunately, it’s not importable because it wouldn’t survive the trip without pasteurization (and current risks of bird flu with less pasturized milks due to lax US handling laws). There are also laws in the EU about what can be called moz, which dont exist in the US (don’t get cheddar lovers started).
US moz is made with cows milk, and while it can be very good when made fresh, most people find the Itallian version to be a completely different cheese, and much more applicable to the dishes it is served with in Italy.
In the US, American-Italian food has made shifts to items like chicken parm, etc, partly because of historic American tastes, but also because of what pairs better with the cheese.
All this to say, moz is good, in Italy and in the US. But they are very different cheeses.
Very interesting, I did not know that! Cool stuff
You mean those watery packets of cheese I sometimes buy aren’t supposed to taste like watered down kangaroo testicles?
Look at the plus side: at least you know what kangaroo testicles taste like.
it’s nothing like the shit labeled mozzarella sold in supermarkets around the world
That’s called mot-zer-eller, if I remember right.
no no, it’s “Moe’s a fella”
There are tons of places that have fresh mozz
Peanut butter toast
But you can get that at any restaurant?
Salt soup
Children.
Technically… you could buy them premade
You don’t need to be at home to make them; it’s just more socially acceptable than in a cafe.
My second kid was made at a Great Wolf Lodge in Sandusky, OH.
It sounds like it was quite the effort
Not much to it on my end. As a male, that is.
Dang, my condolences to your partner.
It’s not like it was a Motel 8.
But maybe it should have been, maybe it should have been…
Boiled children’s feet
The bed!
Decent fitting clothes with deep pockets and quality fabrics with the colors i like
I had the same issue until I discovered MTailor. It’s all I wear now. A bit more expensive but totally worth it.
I’ve only ever found one zip-up hoodie with decent insulation and pockets deep enough that my phone won’t fall out of them if I’m not careful, and you better believe I’m taking good care of it.
I dont understand why Jeans dont usually have deep pockets. Like who is designing this shit.
Me neither; after all, complaints about pockets are around everywhere. But at least i’ve learned how to deepen existing pockets. Next step will be how to create pockets
I feel like that’s something only few people could actually make
True, but it’s an important reason for many people to start to learn how to make their own clothes. It takes effort, but one can learn how to do this. And it used to be a very common skill. With today’s junk on the market, we have a good enough reason to start learning.
I can sew, but finding decent fabrics is hard. Back in the 70s I made all my own clothes and I can still remember some of the fantastic fabrics I used: a ming blue paisley sateen cotton; a red denim (for a duffel jacket with a toning floral for the hood lining); a soft purple lightweight wool; a dark green raw silk; glorious Chinese rayon florals in rich colours. So much choice!
I patch my old socks with older socks, if that helps. And I fix armpit tears with a rough stitch. That’s about it.
trypophobia image
sorry, not intentional
It’s ok, the post doesn’t bother me and i don’t have trypophobia. The reason why i made the comment is that it just reminded me of those images with holes and also i have never seen crumpets before
Vegemite and raspberry jam (“jelly“) on toast. Probably works on crumpets too.
Vegemite
Listen here you little shit, I don’t know what you’re smoking, but it’s not gonna fly here. Now GETOUT!
I believe the correct vernacular is “Oi Cunt!”.
This question is very regional, so I could list a ton of things. For instance since I’m not in the UK, crumpets would be on my list (send me some please).
Maybe most of the food is based in the ideals of what we want it to be, but the reality is the ingredients and the people who cook of your region.
Marmite crumpets shouldn’t exist!
What other cosmic horrors are you creating in your kitchen‽
The British were so focused on whether they could, they didn’t stop to think about whether they should.
we have a chicken stew that we make with barley and oats that sometimes has entire pieces of cartillage in it, if that helps
thank you
Marmite crumpets shouldn’t exist!
You’re right. Not without cheese.
A Twinkie weiner sandwich.
- Cook a hot dog
- Slice a twinkie halfway through the bottom longwise to get something like a hotdog bun
- Insert the cooked hotdog into newly created bun
- Squirt easy cheese along the length of the hot dog
- Dip in milk
- Eat
Weird Al invented this in 1989 in his movie UHF and it’s still not available in stores for some reason
I need to rewatch that movie (and seriously, how great of an actor is Weird Al?)
Sounds like something you could get at a state fair
For good reason. Wtf
Yeah some foods are too powerful for the general public to consume freely.
Isn’t a Twinkie partly chocolate?
You may be thinking of a ho-ho. Also made by Hostess.
Nah that’s a chocodile which is a chocolate covered Twinkie
If I’m going to have a twinkie, I’ll grill it (or toss it in the air fryer I have to try that) just enough until it starts to caramelize on the outside
YES CHEF that sounds unironically delicious
it is. some friends in college were getting together around thanksgiving for a turkey roast. i’m allergic to turkey so I intentionally misheard them and showed up with a box of twinkies. a tradition was born that day.
