• henfredemars@infosec.pubEnglish
      0·
      1 month ago

      Do not try to slap the ass — that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: there is no ass.

      Ripples begin to emanate from the closest ass cheek but vanish as soon as you look away.

  • Lupus@feddit.org
    0·
    1 month ago

    the matrix can’t handle this much ass

    The ram is already full with rendering Carrie-Annne Moss’s leather pants.

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
    0·
    1 month ago

    Yeah, this is the thing that didn’t make the Matrix chars realistic to me - I would innately try to crash the system. Not abandon it, just crash it, wait for reboot, you know, find the limits, really make peoples brainholes in those comfy pods work for it.

    Sure, ofc I would spawn a trillion wheels of cheese over a city.

    Naturally I would grow my ass that big it would dwarf any super-massive black hole (and in the prices make sure Uranus gets into myanus).

    Absolutely I would kill all other processes to see just how good it can run Doom.

    You think I wouldn’t install the most cursed and most blessed of mods?

    • henfredemars@infosec.pubEnglish
      0·
      1 month ago

      I like that one of my first thoughts was I wonder if they’ve correctly implemented special relativity. Let’s find out!

      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
        0·
        1 month ago

        I mean, it’s the hardest & most big-assed thing I can think of (beyond just running a buggy code with a memory leak).

        I was also about to write about zooming infinitely into a particle but it didn’t seem funny enough.

      • spamfajitas@lemmy.world
        0·
        1 month ago

        IIRC, they tackle that in one of the Animatrix episodes. Some kids find a forgotten corner of the simulation where gravity breaks down and stuff gets weird.

    • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzEnglish
      0·
      1 month ago

      In the original version of the script, the point wasn’t to use humans as batteries, it was to use them as processors. The Matrix runs on human brains, and all the leftover brainpower is used on real world problems the machines were dealing with. They turned humans into the computers.

      So, trying to overload the processing limits of the Matrix would just kill people. They’d drop dead from the mental strain. Best case scenario, you give everyone in the Matrix a hangover before the automatic safeties kick in.

      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
        0·
        1 month ago

        Ohh, they weren’t CPUs? (like in >!Hyperion cantos!< by Dan Simmons)

        I prob just assumed it/headcanoned it bcs just the batteries is ofc stupid.

        would kill people

        (Crashing your “computer” doesn’t usually fry your CPU, just crashes the software, nor does 100% CPU load necessarily crash your PC, just keep the CPU cool and within safe amperage/voltage specs)


        Yes! But they have spares, and hot & cold redundancies. Just wait for the reboot, the robots do all the admin work (wait, the Matrix robots are not furries? Another stupid script inconsistency/decision!)

        And now try with a bit less cheese/a smaller ass.
        You gotta find a spot that those brainholes can still process in real time - it’s not just the point to see at what size your butt crashes the system, but also to see what’s the max butt size you it can still successfully process twerking - the true cosmic clappening.

        Imagine billions of people thinking at 100% capacity about every detail of your butt.

        • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzEnglish
          0·
          1 month ago

          (Crashing you “computer” doesn’t usually fry your CPU, just crashes the software, nor does 100% CPU load necessarily crash your PC, just keep the CPU cool and within safe ampere/voltage)

          Yeah, but brains aren’t computers. If you deprive a human of sleep for long enough, they die. If you play loud music at all hours of the day, they get stressed out and become mentally and physically ill. Forcing a human to process too much auditory stimuli is the organic equivalent of overclocking a CPU. And for organics it’s bad and dangerous. https://www.medicaldaily.com/torture-methods-sound-how-pure-noise-can-be-used-break-you-psychologically-318638

          Imagine billions of people thinking at 100% capacity about every detail of your butt.

          At that point you have become the oppressor class.

  • Sundray@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    0·
    1 month ago

    “Do you believe that my being thiccer or more bodacious has anything to do with my badonk in this place? You think that’s gas you’re passing now?”

      • infinite_ass@leminal.space
        0·
        1 month ago

        I worship The Matrix as much as the next guy but these leather-clad domination fantasies are absurd.

        All those shiny leather karate superheros need giant strap-on dildos. Just part of the costume. Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, all of them. Big shiny plastic dicks. Just wear them. Nobody says anything. They just hang there and throb. It would be hilarious.

        • tetris11@lemmy.ml
          0·
          1 month ago

          Same. The first movie, the leather aspect was mostly a small quirk not a full-front feature. Neo’s trenchcoat was mostly there to conceal weapons. Afterwards, it became a fashion choice.

          Practical combat gear is what makes the most sense to me and what I resonate with the most from the series:

          or this:

          seem more practical

  • JackGreenEarth@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    1 month ago

    Manipulating your own body is an aspect of that power I didn’t think about, would be great for me. Of course, I would go for any shape shifting power.

    • Psaldorn@lemmy.world
      0·
      1 month ago

      It’s a somewhat core element that was damped down by execs.

      Originally “Switch” was a trans character who used the matrix control to transition. Finding and taking control of your own character.