okay, i’m gay, but this is still relevant.
my dad (who i haven’t come out to yet) thinks colourful underwear is gay, and those are his remarks to seeing that i’ve packed both red and blue undies while we were on vacation last year.
like bro they’re just colours.
When you’ll finally go outta closet he’ll be like: told ya, knew that from the start cuz of the gay underwear xD
Haven’t come out to him yet but you were ready to come out to the whole internet ? I don’t want to shame you but man come on grow some balls 😉
to be clear, i’ve been out to the rest of my family for a long time, and i am very open about my sexuality (even irl, which takes at least some balls because i’m not in a very lgbt-friendly region). the reason i am not out to my father is that he has always been a traditional “man of the house” person, and i am not driving a wedge in our relationship by letting him know that his ideal bloodline ends with me.
if you don’t understand the cultural contexts in which i reside, do not assume my intentions or degrade my decisions.
Yep, I’m sorry never thought of that
Oh boy don’t bring him to Australia, white undies are the rarity here.
I thought they were generally made fun of and rare anymore pretty much everywhere, like people who still buy white tube socks. And wear them with sandals.
White underwear and socks are just so boring.
Washing your asshole… Seriously dudes, wash it anyway
Seriously. If I was a girl, there’s no way I’d want to fuck someone with a filthy asshole, especially on my sheets. Skidmarks on the sheets and smelling like old shit is gross.
Wash your ass and groin with soap and water just like you do your armpits and feet.
My unasked for advice? Keep your butthole hair trimmed or shaved. Makes it much easier to keep clean, and it takes two seconds in the shower.
And up to the first knuckle, you don’t have to jam soap up there but wash your nasty ass if you expect anyone to not gag when they get near your crotch.
Some of yall are nasty.
Yeah this is still astonishing to me as a guy. Why is basic hygiene gay?
Yes, why would you expect anyone to stuff something up there if you’re not going to at least keep it clean!?
Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
Did you even say no homo first?
I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.
I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍
Not judging, but that is definitely gay.
Sounds like a happy experience all round.
Only if they kiss afterwards.
What if the kiss is just kissing the homies goodnight?
It’s not gay as long as the kiss is only 1/4" of tongue or less.
Put away the D, wait 10 mins and you’re good.
Only if he gets a boner
Kinda hard to cum without an erection, though, right?
I think they meant the giver.
Just pretend he’s a woman.
I need more friends like you.
Hugging friends. Or any sort of physical contact that isn’t with a woman.
Even more, women think it’s gay to have genuine comraderie/man group bonding, not necessarily physical, if you have genuine trust in your buddies they’ll call you gay, and if you somehow show moral support to one another then women better not knowing this
I went roller blading on the boardwalk along the beach and got called gay
Well are you? I don’t see any proof you’re trying to deny it.
Roller blading is less gay than roller skates.
I think the outfit determines how homosexual either appears, or if you are actively penetrating a man or being penetrated by a man.
In some cough cough cultures, penetrating a man is a demonstration of masculinity and dominance and somehow doesn’t make you gay.
There is nothing more masculine than gay sex
🎶I got a brand new pair of roller skates you got skint you knees, let’s get to together and touch together our peepees🎶
I haven’t thought about this in like 20 years but when I was in middle school late 90s some kid had an album where one of the songs was titled “You Rollerblading (f-slur)” and I remember thinking it was the worst music I had heard in my life. 90% sure it was grindcore music, I didn’t know what grindcore was at the time but my memory of the sound kind of fits that mold and the album had like fifty tracks and every single one of them was like 10-15 seconds long.
I suspected this was an Anal Cunt track by the title and looking it up proved my suspicions correct.
Looking at this now, you are correct, and while I wasn’t proud of myself for having thought the song titles were funny, I feel a bit more embarrassed now than I did two minutes ago before looking it up. Edgy teenagers were clearly this band’s target audience.
I found out about them during the Napster/Kazaa era looking for 311 songs and their song “311 sucks” came up. I thought it was funny, then again, I was an edgy teenager at that time.
There was a show, Human Giant I think it was called, which was like skit comedy. Aziz Ansari (spelling?) was in it. In the skit, he was talking about rollerblading and I lost it when, with a straight face, he said, “the hardest thing about rollerblading is telling your parents’ you’re gay.”
It wasn’t your skates that did it; it was your crop top and hotpants. j/k
unisex clothing == male clothing
so still cant buy anything with colors or style or anything even mildly feminine without the gay thing being thrown around
Listening to metal music with female singers, on two separate occasions.
Tarja-era Nightwish is so good.
I got called gay back in high school for listening to Brackish by Kittie. Never understood that one.
Really?! That was the second cd i bought. Still love that album. How the hell does liking hot metal chicks gay?!
Fellas, is it gay to speak Gaulish?
I don’t live in a shithole, so nothing.
I do, but also nothing
I wish you continued good luck in this regard.
Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.
Real men know that there is a greater tactical advantage to backing out of a parking spot instead of pulling out.
Not sure if related, but my wife once told me it was hot watching me put my arm behind her passenger seat, look back and reverse out of a car space.
Now I need to know… are reverse cameras also for girls and gays?
Along those same lines, aren’t backup cameras becoming standard in vehicles?
They’ve been mandatory on all new vehicles since 2018
They’re puttin’ cameras in the cars to turn the friggin’ trucks gay! (/s for those who don’t know the reference)
If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you’d better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?
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That really clashes with the reality of how truck bros actually park. Or does it…?
Truck bros park in the dead center of 4 spots.
Yeah, sorry, that was me today. Weird day. I’d back up 4 times and still not be able to see the lines.
Get a smaller truck, jfc. What if the lines were children?
Lying on the ground in a parking lot? That would be weird, but maybe they could have called out directions to help me get into a parking space.
It’s the same car regardless of location. If you can’t see the parking lines then extrapolate, idiot.
Oh god so so so many. I’m going to stick with music though for today.
You like ${artist}? That’s gay.
Even more fun, “You like ${Track} from artist? That’s the gayest track.”
Guys are real quick to make sure everyone else knows how much manlier they are by what music they listen to.
Sounds like your music is pretty gay. Add some masculinity with It’s Raining Men or just jamming to some Village People.
Just wanna point out that at least in the 90s and early 2000s people would call everything they disagreed with gay, and it didn’t have anything to do with sexual preference.
My brother’s gay and still calls stuff he disagrees with gay. Used to do it myself all the time but stopped quite a long time ago.
In the same vein, my friend frequently tells his fiancé to quit being a f*ggot when he doesn’t want to eat something unusual or complains about mild annoyances. Which always draws hilariously confused looks from nearby straights who don’t know them very well.
Those guys are all sadly afflicted by a case of the Notgays.
Making quiche for brunch. Apparently an omelet is fine, but a scrambled omelette is gay.
Right?!? There was this whole “real men don’t eat quiche” thing that I remember from the 90s. What is unmanly about putting an omelette in a pie crust? It makes it easier to eat on the go and keeps better in the fridge.
wow
It was an actual book in the 80s! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Men_Don't_Eat_Quiche
Plus a properly made one is fucking delicious
Use a Mac.
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
Fellas, is it gay to not eat dirt
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.
Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.
The conclusion id jump to is that they were going in there to do some drugs.
They went in straight. All good then.
Well it is called “homophobia” and a “phobia” is an irrational fear.
He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol
I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I’m back to normal an hour or so later.
I can’t image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I’ve ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.
Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.
I usually just wet my pants to avoid touching my own penis so I don’t get perceived as gay. Shit, I just used the word perceived. Gay af.
Only straight way to use a urinal is helicoptering, got it
Wait… you’re not washing your asshole are you?
You can’t be having fingers near your butt, same with wiping
Both of these broke my brain.
Wait, does that ever actually happen as anything but a joke?
I saw it from this post and wanted to see what Lemmy has experienced…
Well fuck, I own more work boots than that, not to mention shoes for jogging, shoes for work, and shoes for going out. My work and fashion footwear game is strong.
Fellas, is it gay to have women compliment you because you care about your appearance?
What app did you use to create this?
That bit about wiping your ass is pretty funny ngl
Real men let it crust 😤
Nah man gotta keep that shit swampy
“Why clean the house unless you’re expecting visitors?”
SO YOU HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?!
It didn’t make sense to me either until I realized that cleaning your house is probably also gay if you’re not expecting visitors.
Surprised no one has posted “use a straw” yet. That’s definitely one of the more common ones . Weird as shit.
Hilarious…
